Let Them: Let Me
By Prerna Chandra ·
We’ve all been there.Standing in front of the mirror, loving the outfit… until the thought creeps in:
“Is this too much?”
“Will I be judged?”
And just like that, the joy shrinks. The expression of self becomes a calculation.Whether it’s wearing that bright lipstick, speaking up in a room, or just choosing to be different fear of judgment has a way of showing up, uninvited. But where does this fear come from? And more importantly can we rewire it?
The Inner Judge: Where It Begins
We’re taught young. “Be a good girl.” “Don’t draw too much attention.” “That’s not what nice people do.”And boom before we even get our adult teeth, we’re walking around with an internal judge trained by society, school, sometimes even our own families.
We think we’re not judgmental. I used to think the same. Until I started my coaching journey and caught myself dishing out sarcastic inner commentary like a full-time movie critic. Of course, being a Potterhead, I named her Bellatrix. Dramatic, intense, but oh-so-familiar.
The truth is, we all judge.
We judge people.
We judge ourselves.
We even judge situations.
Someone shows up late? We label them careless.
We make a mistake? We spiral into shame.
A rainy day ruins plans? We call it bad luck.
But what if judgment isn’t the problem? What if our attachment to avoiding it is?
Can You Rewire the Fear of Judgment?
Short answer? Yes.
Long answer? Yes, but it’s a process.
It starts by accepting that judgment is a reflex. But fear of judgment? That’s a habit. And like most habits it can be rewired.
Enter two life-saving words: Let Them.
Let them stare.Let them comment.Let them assume.
And then comes the second part of the equation: Let Me.
Let me wear what I love.Let me say what I believe. Let me protect my peace without asking for permission.
This isn’t just a mindset shift. It’s a nervous system detox.
From hyper-vigilance to freedom. From control to choice.
Because the truth is, misplaced energy is the fastest route to stress.
We spend so much of our time managing imaginary conversations, pre-editing ourselves, and trying to make sure everyone is comfortable… but where’s the comfort for you?
What Do You Actually Regain When You Let Go?
Let’s get real about what’s at stake and what’s possible:
- When you stop controlling others?
→ You gain freedom and power. - When you stop living for approval?
→ You protect your authenticity. - When you stop comparing?
→ You reclaim your happiness. - When you stop over-fixing everything?
→ You preserve your peace of mind. - When you stop people-pleasing?
→ You begin to feel contentment, belief, and liberation.
Everything we’re chasing outside already lives inside. But fear especially fear of judgment builds walls between us and those truths.
How I Practiced Rewiring (And Still Do)
I didn’t just wake up one day free of judgment.First, I met Bellatrix. ( My judgement self) I saw her clearly. Understood when and where she comes out strongly. Turns out I had a strong judgement of self who was sarcastic and manipulative ( similar to bellatrix) Named her. Not to shame her, but to befriend her.
Then I started practicing Let Them / Let Me.
Small steps:
Wearing what I wanted to the gym.
Speaking up in meetings without rehearsing it thrice.
Not texting first when someone ghosted.
And yes, it’s hard. But when have good things ever been easy?
We live in a society where vulnerability is mistaken for weakness.
But I’ve learned this: It takes far more courage to be yourself than to fit in.
One thing I say (often with a smile):“Logon ka kaam hai kehna.”
People will always have opinions. Let them.
If Even Mango Isn’t for Everyone -the king of fruits isn’t loved by all.
So why are you trying to be universally approved?
“If you are for everyone, you are for no one.”
Be for you first.
What are you afraid of?
This fear of being judged, misunderstood, or disliked it’s not unique.
But letting it dictate your life? That’s a choice.
So next time the fear rises, ask yourself:
- What am I really afraid of?
- Whose approval am I chasing?
- What would I do differently if I wasn’t trying to be “liked”?
- What would I wear, say, write, or create if I let them think what they think?
And then whisper it with a smile:
Let them. Let me.
Because on the other side of control is your life unfiltered, alive, and finally yours.