The Most Misunderstood Love Story: Your Relationship with Money
By Prerna Chandra ·
If money were a person, what would your relationship status be?
“It’s complicated”?
“Ghosted me”?
“Currently chasing it”?
Or perhaps… “We broke up in 2008 and never recovered”?
For most people, the relationship with money is like an old Bollywood love story — full of drama, misunderstandings, miscommunication, and a little bit of guilt and shame. Except instead of stolen glances and filmy songs, there’s budgeting apps, credit card bills, and late-night anxiety spirals on Amazon.
But what if I told you your financial well-being has less to do with how much you earn, and more with how you feel about money?
“We don’t attract what we want. We attract what we believe we are worthy of.” — Iyanla Vanzant
Money Isn’t Just a Number — It’s a Narrative
When I was a kid, I remember hearing this phrase from my grandmother:
“Paisa haath ka mail hai.”
(Money is like the dirt on your hands — it comes and goes.)
It was meant to teach detachment, but what it taught me was avoidance.
Years later, I found myself in a job I liked, earning decent money, yet I was always anxious about spending. Every purchase felt like betrayal. Every financial goal felt like a distant, mocking cousin at a wedding — always smiling at you, never coming closer.
Turns out, I wasn’t bad with money.
I just had inherited a story about money.
Let’s Talk About the Ex — Money as a Partner
Imagine money as your romantic partner.
If you’re constantly ignoring them (never checking your bank balance), criticizing them (“Ugh, there’s never enough”), or fearing them (“If I ask for more, they’ll leave”) — how healthy would that relationship be?
Would it feel like trust?
Or like walking on eggshells?
Now flip it.
What if you respected money’s presence in your life?
What if you celebrated it when it came in, treated it with intention when it went out, and forgave yourself when you made a mistake?
Just like love, money thrives where there is honesty, care, and boundaries.
The Saver and the Spender
Let’s meet Arjun and Meera. Two friends. Same salary. Opposite vibes.
- Arjun hoards every rupee. He avoids social gatherings, lives on Maggi, and believes investing in a good mattress is a luxury.
- Meera, on the other hand, spends like there’s no tomorrow. New gadgets, weekend getaways, impulsive online shopping — she’s chasing happiness, receipt by receipt.
Both feel stressed.
Both feel out of control.
Why?
Because both are treating money not as a tool, but as a solution to emotional wounds. Arjun fears scarcity because he grew up watching his parents struggle. Meera overspends because she equates worth with lifestyle — “If I look successful, I must be successful.”
Money becomes the therapist neither of them hired.
So, How Do You Heal This Love Story?
Like any relationship, healing begins with awareness and communication.
Here’s how:
1. Audit the Emotion, Not Just the Expense
Before you judge your money habits, ask:
“What am I feeling when I spend, save, or avoid money?”
Shame? Guilt? Pride? Relief?
Emotions are breadcrumbs. Follow them.
2. Rewrite the Money Script
Identify the beliefs you picked up as a child.
Things like:
- “We can’t afford this.”
- “Rich people are arrogant.”
- “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
Now question them. Are they universally true? Or just locally inherited?
3. Treat Money Like a Relationship
Would you:
- Ghost your partner for weeks? (Don’t avoid looking at your bank balance.)
- Expect love without communication? (Check in regularly — weekly money dates help.)
- Expect miracles with zero effort? (Budgeting ≠ restriction. It’s planning.)
4. Celebrate Financial Wins, Big or Small
Paid off a small loan? Celebrate.
Resisted that third Swiggy order this week? Gold star.
Said “no” to a flashy gadget you didn’t need? That’s growth.
You wouldn’t ignore your partner’s thoughtful gestures — don’t ignore your own progress either.
Manifestation Is Not Magic — It’s Energetic Alignment
Here’s the part that’s often misunderstood.
Money is energy. It responds to your frequency, not your frustration.
You can light a hundred candles, make vision boards, chant affirmations till your voice cracks — but if deep down, you still believe “I’m not good enough to be wealthy,” then the universe hears that vibration louder than anything else.
“You do not manifest what you want. You manifest what you believe.” — Vani Kabir
So, what’s the shift?
It’s in understanding that money is not earned by punishment. It doesn’t require blood, sweat, and scarcity.
It flows where it’s welcomed — not worshipped, not feared, not chased.
From Situationship to Marriage
Your relationship with money is the most long-term relationship you’ll ever have — even longer than the one with your gym subscription. So give it the attention, love, and honesty it deserves.
Because money isn’t your enemy.
It’s not your soulmate either.
It’s your mirror.
It reflects what you value, what you fear, and what you believe you deserve.
So start today. Send money a message — maybe not a love letter yet, but at least a friendly text:
“Hey, I think we got off on the wrong foot. Want to try again?”
“Money is a great servant but a terrible master. The good news? You’re always the one writing the script.”